6 Tips To Stop Jealousy of Your
Boyfriend or Husband
If a woman is jealous, she is unlikely to be able to completely get rid of this feeling. But in her power to treat jealousy consciously. For this, first of all, she must:
1. Understand what jealousy is.
Jealousy can have a real reason when it is caused by objective reasons. A woman knows for sure that her man is cheating on her with another woman, or even not with one, and does this regularly. And her jealousy already has many shades, anger, resentment, resentment, disappointment are mixed with her. The man probably guesses that she is suffering, that she is in pain, but this does not stop him.
This is the most understandable form of jealousy when jealousy is natural and justified, but it is also the least common. In this case, a woman should think about what might be causing her man’s behavior and whether it makes sense to continue the relationship.
Does she want to be next to a person who will constantly provoke her and cause negative emotions in her? Will working on such a relationship result? This situation requires a response.
Another type of jealousy is more common when it is not entirely clear whether there is a real reason for jealousy or whether it is invented. For example, a woman came with her husband to a company where there are attractive single women.
After a while, she notices that her husband is talking enthusiastically with one of these women. Well, do not keep him on a leash!
Of course, in every family, there is a different understanding of what is permitted. Some women will not attach importance to this fact: the husband is not a prisoner, he has the right to communicate with anyone he wants. And here the relationship is built on trust. A woman of this type may come up and engage in conversation at ease.
And her position will be much more advantageous than that of a jealous woman who closes herself in herself, pouts cast sidelong glances – what they do there, “beat with a hoof”, or defiantly flirt with someone from her husband’s acquaintances. In general, to behave as not as a wise woman, but as a child.
Of course, in this situation, it is difficult to unequivocally answer whether there is a reason for jealousy here. It seems to be not, but at the same time, there is. It is important that the man knew the measure. If he too often meets with another woman in a friendly manner, runs on the first call to solve some of her problems, often talks about her, then there is still cause for concern.
It is worth asking yourself: is this situation threatening our relationship? Is this a real cause for jealousy? I must honestly admit to myself: yes, I’m jealous.
Psychologists advise saying these words many times – mentally or aloud, where no one hears them. This must be done with different intonations, imitating the characters from funny cartoons.
You need to repeat until it becomes funny. This will allow us to abstract from the negative emotions that have captured and absorbed all our attention. Now you can ask yourself again: is there a specific reason for jealousy?
A wise woman differs from the infantile one in that she is responsible for her emotions, does not allow them to overwhelm herself and make irreparable mistakes. In a fit of jealousy, it is easy to destroy relationships, and, as they say, to destroy – not to build. Accusations and unjustified jealousy can only worsen the situation.
A hysterical woman, shaking the nerves of both the man and herself, will only achieve that he will really leave, even if he did not intend to do this earlier, to where he will be friendly and affectionate.
A jealous woman weakens her position because she secretly admits that her relationship with a man is not as strong as she would like, that she is worse than other women. And this already speaks of her low self-esteem and she should work with this.
So, such a reason for jealousy is often invented by the woman herself. But incitement of this feeling in oneself, surveillance of a man, accusations, an attempt to knock out a confession of treason from him only provoke him to give a real reason.
Along with jealousy, which may have at least some basis, there is also causeless female jealousy. Firstly, it is jealousy associated with some life periods or features occurring in the female body. For example, during pregnancy, after childbirth, when against the background of hormonal changes, a woman becomes vulnerable, easily excitable, tearful.
It seems to her that she has become unattractive, uninteresting, and her husband will go to another – the best. Psychologists advise not to focus on negative thoughts, not to forget about increasing self-esteem, self-development, then you will not have to doubt yourself and your strengths. A woman with high self-esteem will not let anyone around her, including her man, doubt it.
Women who consider themselves the center of the universe are prone to causeless jealousy. They painfully perceive any distraction from them and direct it to someone else. And here psychologists recommend doing psychoanalysis or consult a therapist because life in a state of constant jealousy is unbearable.
So, we figured out the reasons for our jealousy. What other first aid can you give yourself with the next attack?
2. First, cool down
Under a hot hand, it’s easy to “break firewood”. But we intend to maintain relations, and not destroy them. Even if something happened that now seems out of the ordinary, it takes time for the emotions to calm down and think on a cold head.
How long will it take? To whom is the day, to whom is the week, and to whom is the month. The main thing is not to say or do something that you can regret later.
3. Seek advice from wise people
In difficult everyday situations, we are used to contacting friends. But psychologists do not recommend this. At a time when a woman is in disheveled feelings, lost her way, and does not know what to do, she is very suggestible.
If a friend’s personal life leaves much to be desired, she is unlikely to give sensible advice. “Drive him, why do you need him!” – from the category of those that you should not resort to.
There is no person nearby who serves as a model of wisdom? Then it’s better not to devote anyone to their secrets. Or take the help of a professional psychotherapist.
4. Take responsibility
No matter how I would like to completely blame the fact that the relationship is crumbling, on the man, it is worth recognizing that our fault can be here.
You need to ask yourself: what kind of relationship did you have before – before there were reasons for jealousy? What prompted him to behave in one way or another? If, of course, this man is not Casanova by nature – then, as they say, they saw the eyes that they were buying.
5. Talk more with a man about your feelings
We are all brought up in different families, and, as you know, “each rattle has its own rattle”. What is considered normal in one family may not be acceptable in another? Someone and harmless flirting seem cheating.
A man may not even guess what a storm of emotions his woman caused the fact that he was just saying hello to an attractive colleague.
Therefore, it is so important not to conceal resentment, not to accumulate irritation, not to come up with reasons for jealousy, but to find the time and the right words to understand each other.
6. Understand “where the legs grow”
It will be easier for a woman to get rid of jealousy when she conducts introspection and understands its origins. Among the many reasons, psychologists distinguish three:
- Dislike. The woman is jealous because she lacked paternal love and attention. Now she wants to get them with excess from her man;
- She is copying her mother’s behavior model. She saw how the mother treated her father, how she controlled him, rolled up tantrums and scenes of jealousy, and now she is trying to transfer this model to her relationship with men;
- Fear of losing a man, becoming unnecessary to him. In this case, a woman needs to engage in self-development, work on self-esteem, a sense of self-worth, in her own way. And then she will no longer be afraid that she will be betrayed, abandoned, humiliated.She will become self-sufficient and self-confident, they will fight for her, they will want to spend time with her, they will keep an eye on her so that someone else will not lead her away.