How To Learn To Understand People
Knowing how to understand people, you can avoid many communication errors and disappointments, as well as understand everyone. In addition, such knowledge will help answer any questions, for example, why we are in conflict with some people and are friends with others.
The first impression is almost always deceptive, and only after some time, we begin to understand what this or that person is. It is interesting that our opinion can radically change.
It is a pity that schools or universities do not teach how to better understand people. But this is very important for the concept of their nature and the construction of the most effective relationships. The instant conclusions are not always true and should be based not only on mindfulness and experience but also on knowledge.
If you relate to each interlocutor taking into account specific personal characteristics, you can communicate perfectly with any person and avoid unreasonable claims to him.
The personality of each person is multifaceted. Its most essential and pivotal property is the character that sets the individual apart from the crowd. Let’s look at some of its aspects.
Learning to understand people
Let’s consider different psychological aspects.
For a detailed description of a person, it is necessary to determine the expression of his emotions, which of them are dominant and which are completely absent.
Emotionality and super emotionality
To communicate with emotional personalities is quite simple. They themselves will share their positive and negative emotions, feelings: joy, sadness, anger, tenderness, etc.
Such behavior annoys and tires many because a person does not calm down until he spills out his emotions on an interlocutor, whose permission no one asks.
You can listen to such people, but do not attach too much importance to the words. If the conversation has become tedious, culturally interrupt them without offending the interlocutor.
Lack of emotion
A non-emotional person has practically no emotions if he does not fall into an unusual or extreme situation. Everything that is in his soul remains a mystery to those around him.
The expression of the feelings of such people does not occur through emotions but through thoughts. They are distinguished by developed intelligence and perfectly analyze any situation.
Of course, at first, it’s not very comfortable with a non-emotional person nearby, but you can establish a relationship with him. Begin the dialogue first, push to the conversation, ask for advice. Do not demand the manifestation of emotions, in the future, you will appreciate its well-designed and reasoned conclusions.
Positive and negative emotions
Of course, a positive-minded person is an excellent conversationalist who shares his mood with everyone around him. Constantly encourage such people, maintain they’re positive, then you will spend the whole day in a good mood.
The presence of negative emotions repels. In this case, one should not avoid a person. Even if he does not share his experiences, gently help him, show sympathy, ordinary humanity.
Walls and asthenic
The walls are more susceptible to active emotions: joy, anger, anger, etc. The expression of their emotions contributes to excitement and tension.
Asthenic are characterized by emotions that lead to the suppression of vigorous activity and a decrease in the energy potential of others. These include longing, dejection of the spleen.
Usually, communication between steak and asthenic causes difficulty.
Communicating with the scenic, one must be prepared for the active manifestation of their emotions and not interfere with this.
Asthenic should also be tolerated and simply adapt to such a character trait.
It’s easy to communicate with people who are always in a good mood. It should be noted that they are not inclined to talk about sad and sad things and will not sincerely condole if you face difficulties in life.
Do not try to amuse people with a constantly bad mood and make them smile. This character trait cannot be adjusted, you just need to get used to it.
It is harder to communicate with individuals who are subject to a constant change of mood. Try to maintain a leading position in the conversation to outstrip the interlocutor’s reaction to what was said.
Emotional outbursts can be both positive and negative. In such situations, the person loses control over emotions.
Do not be afraid of such people, hide, avoid, and, even more so, crib in front of them. There is no need to argue, especially with the boss, but only to defend your opinion reasonably.
You should try to calm a person who is in a stressful situation and does not cope well with his condition.
How to communicate toxic people
There is a certain category of negative personalities that you need to communicate with as carefully as possible:
- “Energy vampires”, after communicating with which, a person feels broken and devastated. Try to timely identify such people in your environment and not give in to manipulation.
- Parasites who try to use others for their own selfish purposes. You can communicate with them, but you should not help, because gratitude or payment for work is not provided.
- People with an unbalanced psyche. The constant breakdowns that no one expects should be alerted. Talk with the person about his behavior. If such conversations do not lead to proper results, only a doctor can help.
- Aggressive personalities. It’s better to stay away from such people because they are prone to fights and physical abuse.
- Manipulators. It’s better to tell the manipulator right away that you know about his character trait or try not to give in to manipulations.
- Immoral individuals for whom there are no social and legal norms. Try to minimize communication with them.
- Weak personalities are characterized by shyness, resentment, vulnerability, timidity, anxiety. Do not indulge their weaknesses, so as not to become a “wish maker.” Their refusals must be compensated for by helping a person independently solve his problems.
- Egoists love only their own person. You can communicate with them in two ways: tell the truth or constantly flatter.
The main thing is to know that in your environment there are people who pose certain dangers. Then it becomes possible to minimize their negative impact.
Motivation of people
Each action of a person is driven by certain motives, knowing about which you can understand a person:
- Wealth. Such people are only interested in material values; they seek profit in everything. Talking about money and making money is their favorite topic.
- Public acceptance. For such people, the main thing is to attract attention by any means.
- Getting pleasure from their activities. A person is not interested in money but is only occupied with his own business, which he is very passionate about. Such people often succeed in their field and easily make contact.
- A feeling of envy. Envious people are better off not bragging and discussing other people. Try to praise them more and talk about their successes.
- Fear and shame. People who are constantly afraid of being disgraced or of other situations, as a rule, are not of interest to others. They will constantly be in their experiences.
- Laziness. Lazy people strive for stability, try to spend their energy as little as possible. Their choice is friends who do not need help. Such a person can be pleasant in communication, but you should not count on him in difficult times.
- Be different from others. Such people communicate, as a rule, with original and non-standard personalities, like themselves. You can make friends with them by talking about something interesting, trendy, unusual.
- Self-development. Communication with people who are engaged in self-development is not difficult. They are ready to listen to the interlocutor and share their knowledge. At the same time, they will stop making contact if you become not interested.
All of these personality characteristics are basic, but far from exhaustive. To better understand other people, you need to study psychology in more detail.
Read the book of the doctor of psychological sciences Egides A.P. “How to understand people”, where you can study the psychological classification of personality.
Also, there are series that teach you to better understand people. The most famous of them: “Gravity”, “Patients”, “Necessary cruelty”, “Consciousness”.
Language of the body
Understanding other people is possible not only by studying their nature. Knowing about the iconic elements of poses, movements, facial expressions, gestures, the gait of a person, you can get information about his thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
So, if the interlocutor shrugs, it means that he is not well-versed in this matter.
If a smile does not cause wrinkles around the eyes, we can talk about its insincerity and false-positive emotions. At the same time, if the interlocutor sincerely laughs at your jokes, then he is ready for a platonic or romantic relationship.
If a person sits with legs crossed, this is interpreted as nervousness, defensive position, or restraint. But the arms crossed on the chest mean the disagreement of the interlocutor and the prevalence in him of a negative attitude to what is happening.
Stroking the chin means trying to make decisions.
Excitement is given by swaying from socks to heels.
Touching the face and hands indicates a manifestation of nervousness and, at the same time, are calming actions.
To understand people, it is not enough to read the article. It is necessary to constantly improve skills and put them into practice.
Only in this case, you will always communicate with people, taking into account psychological characteristics, and not at first glance to divide others into good and bad.